"We Live Here" tells a story you need to hear
In the face of discriminatory laws being passed in Iowa, queer Midwestern families are sharing their truth: they're here and they aren't going anywhere.
It was one of the coldest days of 2024 but two feet of snow and below zero temperatures didn’t stop folks from coming out to The Varsity Cinema in Des Moines’ Drake neighborhood to watch a sold out screening of the documentary,“We Live Here: The Midwest.”
The movie, now streaming on Hulu, profiles several queer families who’ve all made their homes in the Midwest, many despite the rise of anti-LGBTQ legislation in their respective states. The film shows what life is like being queer in a place that doesn’t necessarily embrace queerness.
One of the couples featured, Nia and Katie Chiaramonte, former residents of Indianola. The couple met in 2nd grade, were high school sweethearts, both attended University of Northern Iowa, got married and had five kids together, a typical Midwestern fairy tale if there ever was one. Things were moving along as planned until Nia came out as transgender in 2018. Katie, a clergy member of a local church, no longer felt accepted by her church family.
“It was like, ‘Everyone is welcome but not affirmed,’’’ Katie recalled. “It was hard to reconcile that.”
The Chiaramontes were at the screening of the film, backed by a theater filled with folks who’d supported them on their journey. The couple, now residing in Maryland, said while they would have loved to have stayed in Iowa and raised their family here, it no longer felt like a safe place to be themselves.
“There was this constant buzz of stress around us,” said Nia. “We talk about ‘Iowa nice’ but it’s really ‘Iowa passive aggressive.’ We are people, not issues, and it’s hard to live in a state that doesn’t have your back.”
Iowa laws don’t support queer people
In 2022, the Iowa House proposed several anti-LGBTQ bills but passed only one barring transgender girls from playing high school sports. In 2023, it proposed 33 anti-LGBTQ pieces of legislation and passed several including one that banned gender affirming care for minors and another that prevented transgender Iowans from using the bathroom that matches their gender identity.
2024 is already shaping up to be worse than last year in terms of hateful and degrading legislation. Just last week, the Iowa House scheduled hearings to debate the definition of a “woman,” to discuss incarcerating trans women with men and scheduled a hearing for HF2082, a bill that poses a severe threat to the civil rights of transgender Iowans. If passed, HF2082 would remove gender identity as a protected class in the Iowa Civil Rights Act. The legislation would “eliminate crucial protections in employment, credit practices, public accommodations, education, and housing.” If passed, it would make Iowa the first state to remove transgender people from their civil rights code, according to One Iowa Action’s Keenan Crow.
What can you do?
With an all-out assault on transgender Iowans, it might feel like there’s nothing you can do as a regular citizen. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Here are three things you can do to help:
Write to Your Representative: Send a message to your presentative telling them that HF2082 is unacceptable. You can find a template and easily send your message here.
Attend the subcommittee hearing on Jan. 31 at 12 p.m.: Your physical presence matters. Show up at subcommittee hearing and wear purple in solidarity.
Provide written comment for the subcommittee: Share your thoughts and concerns directly with the subcommittee. You can submit written comments here.
A number of Iowa’s LGBTQ organizations encourage allies to stand with them, to show up, and be vocal in opposing this bill that threatens the rights and protections of the LGBTQ+ community in Iowa. Every bit of support helps families like the Chiaramontes feel at home here. Showing up at the Capitol says Iowa’s citizens won’t stand for hate. How will you show up for LGBTQ Iowans this year?
What inspires me?
It’s hard to be a lifelong Iowan and not be affected by the hate and discrimination coming from our state representatives. We can’t afford to stand by and not do anything. Yes, it can be hard to face the opposition but there are simple things you can do to show your support. I am inspired by One Iowa Action’s bill tracker. It’s a one stop, comprehensive look at what’s coming down the pipe at the state capitol. Education and awareness is important and tracking legislation is one way to stay informed and alert.
I was also inspired this week by Raygun and their immediate response to the proposed legislation. Proceeds from a new line of shirts will help organizations like One Iowa fight hateful legislation from the trenches.
The Iowa Writers’ Collaborative
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