Let me just start by saying, I LOVE holiday cards! Designing, buying, giving, receiving, etc.— I love it all.
Honestly, Christmas is my least favorite holiday but I live to send holiday cards to friends and family. I’ve been doing it every year since I left home. At first, it was just a boxed card from the Hallmark store with a short note about what I’d been up to the last 12 months. Eventually, it grew into a photo collage of the kids with news about our family. Naturally, as my life evolved, so did the cards.
As you can imagine, this process takes time. These days, holiday cards start with a family photo. I usually try to schedule an outdoor shoot early in the fall to get the best color from the leaves. Once the photos are done, I search up designs, drop in my photo and holiday wishes, order and have them delivered the week before Thanksgiving. They’re always addressed, stamped and ready to mail before we’ve ever consumed an ounce of turkey or slice of pumpkin pie. Mine is usually the first card many folks get, prompting posts and declarations of “Too soon!” via text and on social media.
I should add a disclaimer: sometimes, even the best laid plans go awry. There was one year, exhausted from taking care of three babies, that I misspelled our last name. There was another year that my card order never arrived and yet another when my mental health had tanked and a templated Christmas letter was the only thing I could muster.
Last year was an off year for reasons I’m almost embarrassed to admit. We, my partner Jon and I, have four teenagers between us and at times, it’s chaos central in our house. There are alway meals to plan and events to attend; games to watch and competitions to drive to. We are BUSY and constantly on the go. There is often little time for us to just sit down, let alone time for the six of us to sit for a family photo.
That was the problem last year. I’d scheduled a family photo but two of us couldn’t make the date. I contemplated rescheduling but knew I’d never get the photos back in time so I opted to keep the appointment for the four of us. The pictures turned out great, arrived in a few weeks and I’d gently nudged my other half to get a second shoot on the books.
Remember that whole “we’re busy” thing? Yeah, that happened and my partner and his son were never able to get their photo taken. A dilemma ensued: design the card and send it without two of us or design a card without a photo and send it from all six of us? I’d chatted with said partner and we agreed: send the card with the photo of the four of us but only send to my side of the family. Sounded easy enough, so that’s what I did.
The week after the cards were sent, we started getting calls and texts from concerned friends and family. “Where was Jon?”, “Why was it just the four of you?”, “Did you two break up?”, “Are you still living together?” The first few texts were funny and we took it in stride. But by the 10th, 11th and even 12th message, it felt a little personal. Even our realtor dropped me a text asking if everything was ok.
I was baffled. How had my favorite holiday tradition become fodder for gossip? I’m not usually one to let others’ opinions get me down but this was concerning. Surely if we’d broken up, did they not think we’d share it with them? Did they not trust that we would share such life changing news if we had, indeed, broken off our engagement?
I wrestled with this. Were folks just being nosey or were they genuinely concerned? I never asked. Truthfully, I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to ruin the tradition that I so loved doing every year. I decided instead to just go about my business, to keep on sending the cards and not worrying about how they were being interpreted.
So that’s what I did this year. The cards are here just waiting to be addressed, stamped and mailed. They should arrive in mailboxes by the last week of November. I’ll admit, of all the cards I’ve sent over the last 30 years, these are probably my favorite. I’d give you all the details but I don’t want to ruin the surprise. But I’m sure there will be plenty of texts and messages that follow.
Don’t Miss the Party!
If you missed last week’s column, the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative is hosting a holiday party. It will be held on Thursday, Dec. 7, 2023 from 5-6:30 p.m. at the Witmer House, 2900 Grand Ave., in Des Moines. If you are a paid subscriber to my column or to any of the other writers in the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, this party is for you.
If you would like to attend, please RSVP here. I’ll be there and hope you will considering joining us, too.
What Inspires Me?
We recognized World Kindness Day on Monday, Nov. 13. The photo above is from my neighborhood Starbucks. I loved and appreciated the sentiments people left on the window. It was a wonderful to spread kindness on World Kindness Day. Also, I’m a sucker for a good Steve Hartman story and this one about a Texas teacher who took her first grade students to Mexico…kind of.
The Iowa Writers’ Collaborative
I’m proud to be a member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative. We are a group of professional writers producing columns on the Substack platform of interest to an Iowa audience.
Our roster of talented writers includes a few of my favorites, like Art Cullen: Art Cullen’s Notebook, Storm Lake; Suzanna de Baca: Dispatches from the Heartland, Huxley; Dave Busiek: Dave Busiek on Media, Des Moines; and Laura Belin: Iowa Politics with Laura Belin, Windsor Heights, alongside newcomers Ray Young Bear: From Red Earth Drive, Meskwaki Settlement; Nicole Baart: This Stays Here, Sioux Center and Alison McGaughey, The Inquisitive Quad Citizen, Quad Cities.
To receive a weekly roundup each Sunday morning, subscribe here: Iowa Writers’ Collaborative.